Last week

Last week my sister's best friend, Tracy, lost her baby. She was about two weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy. I can't imagine the hurt and grief of going through a miscarriage. Many of my friends have had a miscarriage. At almost 9 weeks, I already love this little babe so much.

I'm fearful of what the next few weeks could hold, but I try to remember one of my favorite quotes: I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.

Without that certainty, it would be difficult not to worry constantly. But with that certainty, I can rest assured that my baby's days were numbered before one of them even came to be (Psalm 139).

Until now, I don't think I ever TRULY understood the grief and loss associated with a miscarriage. Tracy asked us to pray that her heart would heal as fast as her body has. So today's posting is for Tracy and for all my other friends who didn't have the opportunity to hold their sweet babies in their arms before they went to be with Jesus.

My heart hurts for each one of you and I pray God will use that experience - whether weeks, months or years ago - to draw you closer to Him.

About the size of thumbnail

It is amazing. Our baby is only the size of thumbnail this week. Just eight weeks in though and it is starting to develop eyelids, arms, legs and toes are present. So cute. I am amazed at how much fun this is!

June 22

6.22.93
Ryan drove me to the Mall of America for our first date. We were 17, young, energetic and quickly fell in love. Eight years later we became husband and wife.

6.22.06
Ryan drove me to our first doctor's appointment for our new baby. We are not so young anymore, but the love I have for this father-to-be just keeps growing. In about seven months, around Feb. 4, 2007, we will become daddy and mommy.

Telling Grandpa and Grandma May

History:

Before I was born my parents lived in Bloomington not too far from where they live today. One day my mom and dad were out taking a walk. Just outside their home my mom stopped and told my dad she was pregnant with their first child, me.

Fast forward 30+ years to today. My dad loves eating ice cream, but my mom wants to keep his heart healthy so she forbids it, except on special occasions. Stacy and I have acted as arbitrators on several occasions to determine if ice cream is okay for my dad.

Father's Day 2006:

On Father's Day I told my dad and mom that we were going to take the on excursion to celebrate dad's day. I had prepared my mother ahead of time by telling her that in honor of Father's Day we were going to take dad to Dairy Queen. To surprise dad we asked him to wear a blind fold. Knowing that he would resist I had talked my mom into wearing one too.

Together me, Stacy and my parents piled into the car, my mom and my dad with blind folds on. It took about 15 minutes to get to our final destination. When we got there, we counted to three and told my parents to take their blind folds off. When they did, they were standing under the street sign where my mom had told my dad she was pregnant 30 years prior. What a surprise! Tears flowed. Hugs and kisses were shared.

Then we went and had Dairy Queen.

Sherry Learns of Our Coming Miracle

What a day it was!

The day I found out I was going to be a father was an exciting day indeed. But to some degree the excitement of the news so overwhelmed me that it tempered my emotions.

Even as I tried to show how excited I was I felt like I was stuck in a dream. Have you ever had a dream where you are being chased and you try to scream but you can't? That is exactly how I felt, actually I continue to feel it, only in a good way. I a so excited I can't verbalize it correctly. This is a strange feeling and I am not sure I like it, but rest assured I am ecstatic about becoming a father.

Top 100

I love giving gifts and cards. I really really do. Birthday, wedding, baby, Christmas, graduation, anniversary, new job, mother's and father's day -- any occasion will do. I also love to give gifts and cards for no reason…just because I found something for someone that made me think of them.

But nothing is comparable to giving gifts or cards that tell your parents/siblings they will soon be grandparents/aunts/uncles.

Upon opening one of these gifts or cards, the first response is not the standard "I love it" or "thank you" or "that was thoughtful." Instead the response is a combination of shrieking, crying, hugging, big smiles, more hugging and uncontained excitement. "Thank you" is replaced with a smile that is greater than 1,000 thank yous.

I wish I could have captured all the emotion of Father's Day and bottled it up. It's like no gift-giving occasion I've ever experienced before. And, dare I say, imaging one comparable is...difficult.

One of the pastors at church yesterday said that he decided to make a list of the top 100 days in his life. I think that is a pretty cool idea. 6.18.06 - Father's Day 2006 - will definitely make my list.

Happy Father's Day

What a weekend. I am exhausted. Too many emotional highs this weekend as we told both of our parents that we are expecting in February 2007. I want to tell everyone the story behind telling my parents but I am too drained right now to write it the way I want to so, stay tuned.

Different approach to parenthood

I am not sure if it is a male/female difference or a Ryan/Stacy difference, but whatever it is, it is becoming clear that Stacy and I are approaching parenthood from two totally different sides of the same coin.

Within the first five minutes of learning that my wife is pregnant, I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Okay what's the path forward? I mean in terms of how we are going to tell our family and friends." Stacy looked at me an laughed. She said, "we are not talking about a business proposition here. I didn't prepare a Power Point presentation."

My next response was to run upstairs and start looking at how I am going to provide for this new member of our family. I crunched the numbers and realized what we needed to do...open a new savings account and a new checking account to better manage the money we are setting aside for when the baby comes.

So on Wednesday, after work I ran to TCF and opened the accounts. When I rushed home to tell Stacy that I had opened the accounts and received a free CarVacuum as a reward, she looked at me in bewilderment, wondering why I was worrying about money now when we have 8 1/2 months till the due date? "It is time to celebrate," she said, "Not worry about money!"

I am not worried. Just excited. Why does that translate into me opening two new bank accounts? Good question...I don't have an answer.

At 7 weeks...already a miracle

Today begins Week 7 of our pregnancy.

Here's what the medical field says about our baby:

At 3 weeks:

Days 19- 22 the heart begins to beat

The neural tube forms which becomes the spinal cord

At 26 days the brain cells grow, also leg and arm buds appear and grow out from body

At 5 weeks:

40 pairs of muscles present

Eyes, legs, hands begin to develop

At 6 weeks:

Muscles begin to move

Brain waves are detectable

Mouth, and lips are present

At 7 weeks:

Now 1/2 - 3/4 inch long (roughly the size of a raspberry)

Weighs only 1/30th of an ounce but has all the internal organs of an adult

Nerves and muscles work together for the first time

At 43 days brain wave patterns can be recorded

Here's what the Bible says about our baby:
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. - Psalm 139:13-16

I am in absolute awe that every part of our baby forms according to God's perfect design and plan. It is impossible for me to fully grasp that our baby, who weighs only 1/30th of an ounce, has all internal organs that I do. That is not only fascinating, but it is an absolute miracle. I pray for a strong heart. I pray for healthy organs. I pray for every inch of our baby to develop as God has fearfully and wonderfully planned. What a privilege to be a part of this miracle.

I am too excited!

If you read this blog enough you will find that Stacy is a much better, more eloquent writer than me, but you will also find that I am much more transparent and hopefully more frequent in my posts. Since we found out we are going to be parents several things have crossed my mind like, "Holy cow! We are having a baby! That is so awesome, and scary, and exciting. I think I need to lay down."

Since finding out about our coming miracle, I have felt like that kid in the Disney commercial where the parents hear the kids jumping on their bed the night before they leave to go to Disney World. The parents walk into the room and says go to sleep! The little boy falls back into the bed and says "we're too excited to sleep." Then the wife lays next to her husband in bed and asks, "Are you a sleep?" And, the husband replies, "No, too excited."

That sums it up. I am crawling out of my skin excited to meet my new son or daughter (my guess is son). I hope you will share in our enthusiasm.

The three minutes that changed my life...

It's 5:50 a.m. Sunday June 4. Three minutes ago I was just me going along living life as I do everyday. But now there are two pink lines. Two pink lines?!

Suddenly those two little pink lines are causing me to FREAK OUT (in a good way)! Forget going back to bed...I am way too excited as I began digesting what two pink lines truly mean.

I want to wake Ryan but I don't want him to be half awake when I tell him he is going to be a dad.

So later that morning I get out the gift I had tucked away months before to give to Ryan when the time was right. We sit on the patio and eat breakfast. Then I tell Ryan I have a gift for him. He unwraps "Oh Baby the Places We'll Go." It's a book to be read in utero to your unborn baby.

It takes Ryan a minute but when he looks up and sees the tears in my eyes, he knows. It takes quite some time for the shock to wear off though. It wasn't unexpected by any means - but it is hard for us to both believe it has finally happened!

Ryan reads his first Father's Day card and I serve up some Chubby Hubby ice cream...I want him to know that I fully expect him to become a chubby hubby as I start gaining pounds :)

Later that night we invite my sister Sherry to go to Old Chicago with us after church. We order some appetizers and then I tell her we have a gift for her. She unwraps a bib that says 'Little Vikings Fan.' Of course she cries! Soon she'll be an aunty :)

Three minutes...lots of tears...tons of smiles...excited hugs...a future that looks bright and beautiful.

Welcome to Our Baby Blog

Welcome friends and family to the brand new Baby May Blog. From this web site we will track the progress of Stacy's pregnancy and the eventual birth of our baby. Thank you to all of you who prayed and will be praying over the coming months. I hope you are as excited as we are!

-Ryan & Stacy